


i just wanna be with you

by si9nal



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Lee Juyeon is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Side bbangkyu, Yearning, acquaintances with benefits, sangyeons a wise man, that should totally be a real tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:40:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28636416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/si9nal/pseuds/si9nal
Summary: "Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk." He says and it's the first time Jaehyun's seen Juyeon hesitant, almost timid. It makes him want to hug Juyeon so hard, he won't be able to breathe."Not right now, um, I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow? Or I could come over later, if that's okay with you." He's fiddling with his hands, he feels dumb."Why? What's up?" Juyeon's peeking into the tiny living space he calls home and he sees his face fall....I wanna share stories of hidden sunlight all night and fall asleep, my fairy tale
Relationships: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	i just wanna be with you

**Author's Note:**

> previously titled 'only you can make me feel this way babe' 
> 
> title from fairy tale by loona 1/3

"You coming over?" The same attractive voice that Jaehyun can never say no to. "Yeah, I'll be there soon." He hangs up, grabbing all of his things and heading out. It's always been like this, Juyeon calls him on the telephone and the distance feels unbearable, but he walks down the same sidewalk every time, heart heavy in his chest.

It's the thrill of seeing Juyeon, seeing his face and his enormous hands. He has a weak heart and he can't help but to ignore his gut that's telling him to stop. Start saying no, stop getting used to the familiar smell of Juyeon's cologne and his white colored sheets. But Jaehyun is stupid, very very stupid and so he keeps letting his heart be twisted against his will, enjoys the fun of it.

He checks the parking lot for a BMW and there's nothing. His roommate's not in the house as always, he shrugs and rings the doorbell. Juyeon's apartment is a little shabby, kind of ugly and he wishes the other could move in with him. Standing in the doorway is his own personal demise, Jaehyun's downfall. Yet, he lets the same charming smile draw him in and lead him inside his living space.

Jaehyun wants to sit down, maybe talk about each other's day and eat something, he just learned how to cook mandu. He's met with Juyeon's full bed, so nice and comfy, he wants to cuddle. The thought is silly as Juyeon peels his coat off, brings him in for a heated kiss in the cold room. He gives in, he lets the younger feel under his shirt with Jaehyun's hand wrapped around his nape.

The clothes are gone in less than five minutes and this has happened so many times, but every time it feels new. Those big fingers thrusting in and out of him, while Jaehyun screams for more. It's a game of give and receive and Jaehyun's always on the receiving end, despite what he likes to think. 

Juyeon's huge hand wraps around his neck and his air is being cut off, but it's so exciting, it feels _so good_. Jaehyun never looks him in the eye during sex, he doesn't want to ruin the passion, the pure desire of the whole thing. With his silly little crush, it wreaks havoc in his mind and he can't tell the difference.

He's tired of always chasing and chasing. The little gasps he lets out, begging for his ability to breathe back. He's not sure if it's because of the constant pining after Juyeon or the literal metacarpus around his neck. It confuses him and almost draws him away from the mind blowing sex, if not for the other slamming into him at an animalistic pace. _It's going to be a very fun walk home tomorrow_ , Jaehyun thinks.

When he wakes up in his bedroom, there's nothing left to say. Jaehyun never leaves first and he doesn't know why, he likes it when Juyeon kicks him out. Even if it hurts, he's still waiting for the day the latter asks him to stick around, maybe watch a movie. If he wakes up before Juyeon, he simply admires him in all his beautiful sleeping glory, the sun shining through the window always makes his skin glow a pretty color. 

Every time he stirs, he closes his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep, just to wake up right when Juyeon does. It never seemed to weird the younger out and he's always done it, he's in love with him. He sits up, posing as he had just woken up, maybe he'll rub his eyes or stretch for extra effect. Jaehyun's wearing one of Juyeon's big t-shirts and he's never felt more at ease. 

"Um, I was wondering maybe-" 

"I really want to fuck you over the kitchen counter."

There's the grin, the stupid fucking grin and Jaehyun wants to punch him. The comment makes him blush like a school girl. Nevertheless, he nods to the idea and forgets whatever he was going to say as he reaches for Juyeon's dick to attempt a lazy handjob. 

An hour of fooling around and awkward glances and it's finally time to kick Jaehyun out. "Younghoon's gonna be home soon, so you should probably get going." Jaehyun caught up in his own world, misses the longing look and reaches for his shoes. Laces up his converse as he waits for the other to say something, but it's silence. So he makes his way out, a small wave as his form of goodbye. 

The walk home just hurts a little and it's definitely not the pain in his hips or ass, it's his heart, his giant red heart that does little flips whenever it recognizes Juyeon's presence. The fact that he's never even offered to drive him home even once gets to him and those are certainly tears running down his face. The chill air in his studio is depressing, if only it weren't for the stupid heater being broken.

It would have been better if they were something akin to best friends, maybe this arrangement would work out better. They could talk about anything and time outside of sex wouldn't be so uncomfortable. This all started with a foolish bathroom hookup at a club and Jaehyun wanted to ask for Juyeon's number after, but he was shy. He settled for just seeing the charming stranger in his dreams. While fixing up his hair, the younger had asked for his phone number and now they're mere acquaintances with benefits. 

Sometimes Jaehyun wishes he had monopoly over his mind. He could control it in every which way and make Juyeon love him back. Then he thinks that maybe that thought is quite insane, especially for him. However cliche it sounds, Juyeon makes him insane, he gives him that unnecessary yearning that he's never felt before. He wishes he didn't care all the time.

Another month passes of the same routine, Jaehyun comes over, they fuck on whatever surface Juyeon is feeling like that day and then they wake up and he leaves. He still loves it, it's amazing, it's exhilarating, but he's getting tired. His bashful and giggly demeanor is beginning to crack and fade, leaving him with resentment for the other.

And so everything falls apart on a pretty Friday when the snow has finally cleared up. "I don't give a fuck about you anyway!" It's childish, Juyeon hadn't even said anything. Well, nothing to provoke such a response. It was the normal, 'Hey, my roommate's gonna be home, could you leave?' Yet, it's not supposed to feel normal, Jaehyun shouldn't find comfort in such mean words. They're said with the same voice and the same kind eyes, but they hurt. Jaehyun wants nothing more than to be with Juyeon. 

"You- You never have me stay or communicate!" There's a pause and he can't look Juyeon in the eyes, this little tantrum he's having over a sudden realization is embarrassing enough. "I guess, I'm just a plaything for you." The sound of the door slamming, along with his pathetic stomps as he makes his way down the grass make him feel anything but just. 

It hurts more when there's no footsteps behind his, no voice telling him to come back inside and no calls over the course of two weeks. Jaehyun misses him more than anything and he really wishes he didn't have that stupid outburst, it was immature. Nevertheless, he clocks into work every day, nothing but Juyeon on his mind.

There's this gloomy aura to him and even Jacob tells him that, but he pays no mind. His coping mechanism is eating ten lollipops a day and flirting with the cute barista his friend had hired a month ago. Even if Juyeon had been occupying his thoughts, he couldn't help but to have a little fun. 

They hook up at a work party and Jaehyun's having the time of his life. Something that starts out as mindless teasing turns into making out in the back of a Lyft and now he's deepthroating Sangyeon in the comfort of his own home. The weirdest part of it all is that they're both completely sober, Jacob refused to serve any alcohol, that prude. 

It escalates into sex, something that Jaehyun deserves after being deprived of it, even if he's the reason for that. It's enough to fill him up, make him satisfied, but all it does is make him realize just how much he's missed Juyeon. It's not until they've washed up and Jaehyun asks him to stay when the dam breaks.

Sangyeon in one of his sweaters and some basketball shorts, cuddles up to him and he starts crying. It's something totally out of his reach, he just can't control it. "Jaehyun? Are you crying?" He can't even look at him, doesn't want to look at the guy who just fucked his brains out, so he buries his head into his chest, hoping he gets the message. He does. 

That's how his night ends. Tears in his eyes, lying in Sangyeon's embrace while the older whispers comforting words, reassures him with small touches. The void is still there, sucking Jaehyun in, but he feels warm, just for once. He discovers he loves the feeling.

It's 10 am and Jaehyun hears the doorbell. It's strange, no one but Jacob or Kevin ever came by and even if they did, it's never this early. His curiosity peaked and Sangyeon still sound asleep in his bed, he gets up to answer it. 

He opens up the door and the wind gets knocked out of him. If it weren't for the composure he's able to keep, he would've actually fell because standing in his doorway is Lee Juyeon, something unreadable on his face. "Juyeon?" He finally speaks up, hoping he doesn't look too bewildered.

The side of his mouth curls up into a small smile and Jaehyun swoons so hard, but remembers there's another man in his bed and he can't have him here. Especially if Sangyeon wakes up, it's going to be an uneasy scene that he's just not mentally stable enough to deal with. 

"Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk." He says and it's the first time Jaehyun's seen Juyeon hesitant, almost timid. It makes him want to hug Juyeon so hard, he won't be able to breathe. Just wants to get lost, lost in Juyeon and in love, but his damn coworker is in his bed and somehow it's still all of his own fault. 

"Not right now, um, I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow? Or I could come over later, if that's okay with you." He's fiddling with his hands, he feels dumb, he thinks about inviting him in for a cup of coffee, they could make out on the couch and then watch an anime about killing people with a notebook, but nothing ever works out in his favor.

"Why? What's up?" Juyeon's peeking into the tiny living space he calls home and he sees his face fall. And Jaehyun wants nothing more than the ground to suck him up because he forgot that his bed was clearly visible from where he's standing at the doorway. He's sure Juyeon can see Sangyeon sleeping soundly in the twin bed and when he looks back to Jaehyun, the older wants to see anger in his eyes, something green. 

It would make him feel better, like two playing one game, but it's just blue, sadness painting over his face as he looks down at the thing that stops the door. "Sorry, didn't know you had company." He bites his lip, looking like he wants to say more, but he just gives Jaehyun one more glance with those eyes that crush Jaehyun's heart with each passing second and walks away.

"Juyeon, wait!" He calls after him, walking down to the little step in front of his door, but he's gone. All Jaehyun sees is a black car driving away and he's crying again. "Fuck."

He can't bring himself to get back in bed with his new friend to use as his personal comfort, so he just makes coffee, waiting for Sangyeon to wake up. His hook up slash fellow coworker awakens only 30 minutes after his sad little encounter and it's humiliating. The latter just seemingly understands him, bringing him into a sleepy hug that Jaehyun greatly appreciates, especially when he's crying in front of him once more.

"D-Did you want coffee or some cereal?" Sangyeon laughs at the way he hiccuped it out and Jaehyun punches him. "I'm fine. You got a spare toothbrush?" The younger waves him off, giving him the spare toothbrush he hadn't opened yet and they spend the whole afternoon together, consider it a lazy Sunday. 

They're lying on his bed together, Sangyeon had convinced him to watch all 5 movies in the Twilight series, much to his displeasure. He hadn't made a move on him the whole day, but for some reason Jaehyun still feels the need to tell him. "Um, you know that-" He doesn't get the chance to finish the reminder.

"I know." Sangyeon gives his hand a little squeeze and smiles. "We just became friends or whatever you want to call this, but I can already tell that you like to talk during the best part in movies." He chuckles, that stupid smirk on his face and Jaehyun hits him again. They're on the fourth movie in the series, the sun long having gone into hiding, the moon coming out to shine. Bella and Edward are getting married and damn, is Sangyeon a corny bastard.

They both finished the takeout Jaehyun had ordered for them and he's very close to falling asleep, their little movie marathon finally ending with the credits rolling, it's silence, just the sound of Sangyeon's heartbeat under his head and the music from the soundtrack playing. "You shouldn't wait again, Jaehyun. Go for it this time." A comforting hand in his hair. 

He doesn't feel the need to question how he knows or why he's being so kind, he just acknowledges it and smiles to himself. "Sorry, I don't have a car, but I can call an Uber?" The question lingers in the air and the anxiety he feels is groundless, it's silly really. "Let me sleepover again." Sangyeon says simply. He sleeps soundly that night.

The sun rises and the bed is rather cold, but he shrugs it off. Once he finally wills himself out of bed, he goes into the kitchen and sees his favorite mug with steam coming out of the top. It's coffee made just the way he likes as he sips from the cup shaped like a cute fox. He notices a little note next to it and reads.

 _Before you ask yourself, "How does Sangyeon know how I like my coffee?" We work in a cafe. Together. Anyway, I felt bad having to leave you all alone, but I have an early shift today. Hope that by the time you wake up, it isn't cold. You're very beautiful when you're sleeping, you know that?_

Jaehyun laughs at his banal attempt to flirt with him as he takes another drink from his mug. 

_Just remember what I said. Don't wait this time, go chase after them and if they don't give you what you want, there's always that one dude named Lee Sangyeon who works as a barista at Coffee Express, he is very single. Also, I live right across the street, just didn't have the heart to tell you, sorry! -Your Bestie, Sangyeon (Do you like the word? Learned it from that high school boy that comes in every Sunday, Eric? Yeah, that one.)_

There's a few more giggles coming from him at Sangyeon's complimentary closing and his blatant flirting. He takes in the information and smiles to himself, putting the note in the mail drawer, deeming it too special to throw away. Jaehyun rushes to do exactly what his 'bestie' told him to do. Well, after getting ready, of course.

He gets dressed in an outfit that he thinks is pretty, an over shirt mixed of light blue and white colors, tucked into a pair of silk like pinkish brown trousers with a little butterfly necklace, courtesy of Kevin. Checking himself out in the mirror, he mentally thanks Sangyeon for being so kind-hearted and notes that he should pay him back in some form.

Jaehyun leaves the house and lets his feet take him on the route that he knows by heart. It's nice outside, flowers are starting to bloom and the sun isn't being as shy anymore. He felt a hundred percent confident when he thought of the idea, but as he inches closer to the run down apartment Juyeon calls his home, the anxiety in the pit of his stomach grows.

When he arrives, he stands at the front door for what feels like hours until there's a voice behind him that makes him shriek. "Hyunjae?" He has not heard that nickname in a long time and he recognizes that that did not come from Juyeon. "Y-Younghoon? How do you know my name?" Jaehyun hates himself for stuttering, but he feels afraid when he shouldn't.

"Juyeon mentions you here and there. Are you here for him? He's not home right now." He says plainly, this is the first time they've met and he seems hard to read. "I mean you can stay and wait here for him, I don't really mind, but I've got my boyfriend with me." It hasn't even been 30 seconds and he feels extremely unwelcome. 

It's difficult, but he came so far, he can't just leave now, not without closure. "Yes, please." Jaehyun almost begs, he almost breaks down, but then remembers what Sangyeon said and regains his self-control. Inhale. Exhale. "Can you just open the damn door already?" The boy behind him complains, tugging on his shirt. Jaehyun hasn't had the chance to see him, hidden behind Younghoon.

The older scoffs, unlocking the door and dragging his tiny boyfriend with him, brushing past Jaehyun as if he weren't there. He takes in another breath before walking in and closing the metal screen door with a soft bang. The couple are nowhere to be found when he walks further into the living room. He has an internal battle with himself over whether he should take his sandals off or not, still at the shoe rack. He tries his best not to look too fondly at the pair of black Converse run star hikes. 

"You know you can sit down, right?" Younghoon says and not in the warm, sarcastic tone. "Maybe stop being such an asshole." The boyfriend comes out, a little scowl on his face. "Hyung? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in forever!" The boy he now recognizes as Changmin says, running towards him with a smile. "Kyu.. Since when did you have a boyfriend?" He asks, quietly, Younghoon giving them a puzzled look. 

"Sorry, I know he's a bit of an ass," "Hey!" "he's not exactly the friendliest with new people." The black haired boy huffs, arms crossed over his chest. "What brings you here, hm?" He asks, gesturing for him to sit down on the couch. "Um, it's complicated." He scratches the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his. He suddenly remembers Juyeon's in college, that's probably why he's gone.

He can feel the onslaught of questions before they even come out of Changmin's mouth, but he can't explain it and he doesn't even really want to. Not until he figures it out himself. It seems he doesn't have to because the face he dearly missed is walking into the room, surprised eyes meeting his own, but the eye contact is immediately broken. 

Juyeon doesn't bother greeting anybody, heading straight to his room. Jaehyun apologizes, but he doesn't mean it as he rushes after what was once his. He didn't really prepare for this part and even if he did, it'd still be hard for him. His hair's not styled, still the pretty dark blue he remembers and he looks a lot more put together than Jaehyun, he ignores how that hurts him a little.

"Juyeon, I.." He trails off, doing the breathing exercise he learned from Jacob one more time. "I'm not really interested in hearing about your new boyfriend, Jae." The voice is cold enough to break his heart and Jaehyun steps forward to slap him. He sees Juyeon's fist clench at his side, laughing as if a brawl was about to happen between the two. "What the hell was that for?" He looks up, an expression in his eyes he normally finds sexy, but right now he's entirely too upset to be horny. 

Jaehyun tries his best to form words, willing away the tears threatening to slip from his eyes, but the dam just breaks. "You- You fucking asshole! Your little coward self never made us exclusive and, and when I left there were no calls, no texts from you for two weeks, Juyeon, _two weeks_ , for god's sake." He takes a shaky breath, shutting his eyes before he continues. "And so I hooked up with somebody, rightfully so. And guess what Juyeon." Jaehyun leaves the statement in the air for Juyeon to answer, looking a lot more distraught than before. He doesn't.

"He cares! He fucking cares, he asks what _I_ like, what _I_ want and-" 

"So what?" He shouts, ashamed of who he is, who he was, ashamed he couldn't be all those things for Jaehyun. "If you're just going to yell at me about how your boyfriend is so much better than me, I really don't want to hear it." Juyeon says, trying to end the heavy talk, he knew his time with him was limited and shared. Jaehyun was right, he was a coward and he was too late, somebody else got to him.

"God, Juyeon, that doesn't matter, he's not my boyfriend. I'm in _love_ with you! For Christ's sake, Ju, I don't know what I can say or do to make it any more obvious." The pieces start to come together and Juyeon, he feels so stupid. All those signals and green lights he so casually brushed off as something he was reading too much into, that Jaehyun wanted him also all along.

"So.. you don't just want sex? You want more than that? Am I understanding that part correctly?" Juyeon voices out, needing to hear it from him just to know it's true. "Yes, yes, please. I've been wanting more than that, Juyeonie." Jaehyun says and the former's lips curl a little at the nickname. "You.. you never looked me in the eyes during sex, unless you were blowing me and when I finally realized that, I just didn't know how to process it. Then you exploded on me and, I just.. I don't know. I freaked out! Didn't know exactly what you meant by that." He explains quickly, rambling on.

The older just breaks out into contagious laughter, shuffling closer to Juyeon, hands coming together behind his neck. "You really are a dumb one, aren't you?" A smile breaks out onto his face, one Juyeon can't help but return as they intertwine into each other, sealing the moment off with a kiss. "Gonna tell me why you didn't look me in the eyes when we fucked?" Jaehyun scoffs, pushing Juyeon's shoulder at the rather vulgar language (that he himself wasn't using too long ago, by the way.)

"I don't know, it just.. felt too intimate and I was already spiraling down a hole I knew I could _never_ get out of. I was also scared you would see the passion in my eyes and you would end my perfect fairy tale all too soon. Seems I was the one to do it myself." He chuckles to himself, Juyeon ready to tell him how ridiculous that sounds before Jaehyun continues with a raise of his eyebrows. "I think I deserve an explanation on why you were always so eager to kick me out as soon as Younghoon would be arriving home."

"Hoon doesn't really like it when I bring people he hasn't met around and I didn't feel it was right to introduce you to my roommate when we weren't really a thing. Officially, at least." The younger elucidates that for him and Jaehyun doesn't quite feel like telling him Younghoon was a bit of an asshole to him before he got there, so he just falls back onto Juyeon's bed.

"Let's make up for the lost time then?" Jaehyun says, but it's more of a question. Juyeon doesn't hesitate to join him. "You don't know how long I've been wanting to leave pretty little marks on you." His voice lowers deliciously while he does exactly that. The older basks in the lovely feeling.

With all of his questions answered and Jaehyun finally getting the closure he deserved, they make love. It doesn't just feel like a hook up anymore. It feels real to Jaehyun and he can't help but enjoy the way this fairy tale plays out way more. 

\--

"Oh my god, the asshole you were grieving over was my little brother?" Sangyeon says in disbelief, nobody in the cafe thankfully. "You fucked my boyfriend?" Juyeon growls across the table, about ready to engage in a fist fight. "Hey, I wasn't the weakling who took forever to figure out what he really wanted." Sangyeon shrugs, shamelessly shading his younger brother. Jaehyun just sits between all of this, holding in laughter.

"As much as I'd love to see you two break out into a fight, Sangyeon's right, Juyeonie." Jaehyun says, looking at how Juyeon sucks in his pride and deflates. "Okay, but I'm still mad you two had sex.. literally could've been anyone else." He pouts, looking away from the two. "Oh, don't pout like that, you know that's my weakness." Jaehyun brings his boyfriend in closer, petting his head.

"You're no better, Jae, babying him like that. He's a grown man." Sangyeon's maybe just a little bitter, even if he won the fight by getting Jaehyun on his side. The younger just sticks his tongue out at him. "Not everything you say, I'm going to listen to." Jaehyun says back, earning an eye roll. 

"I owe you a lot though, so I set you up on a date with one of my friends." He slides a ticket to the aquarium across the table, Sangyeon's eyes widening. "Tomorrow at 2pm, he's a pretty boy with pink hair, shouldn't be too hard to find him. His name's Choi Chanhee." Jaehyun briefly explains with a small smile. 

He watches as his friend sputters across the table, at a loss for words. With that off of his hands, he ignores it, paying attention to his lovely new boyfriend. There's a twinkle in both of their eyes as Sangyeon expresses his anxieties about his date tomorrow. "You're the best to me, I love you." The adoration never leaves his face as he looks up at him. Juyeon just hums, breaking out into a big smile. "Love you too, baby." Their lips come together in a small kiss.

"I am having a crisis right now, hello! Stop being all coupley in front of me!"

The two just wave him off, in their own little small world.

**Author's Note:**

> maybe i will make an unnecessary sangnyu sequel maybe i wont we'll see what the future holds and what the people want..  
> this was probably the fastest i;ve ever written anything so im proud of it! i realllyyyyy ccontemplated whether i wanted to include actual sex scenes in here but writing smut puts me into a hugeeee writers block and i usually just abandon the story because well im me :] (Sad reference to tonight youre perfect)
> 
> if u didnt notice i kiiiiiind of based the first half of the story off of melanie martinez's play date lol and essentially it was inspired by that song but as i continued writing it just became a silly love story! where both jumil r a bit terrible at feelings


End file.
